The Anti-Ice Cream

It's one of those mornings where everything tingles a little. The coffee at work is so bad it hurts but it's funny instead of annoying. I finally have a place to put paper clips on my desk. The trees are freaky red and yellow and the grass is so green and the sky is so blue. Neither of my cuff buttons were buttoned and it was a naughty naked feeling. And my cube was moved at work to be near where all of the cute guys sit. I pulled out a new box of hot cocoa, because that is what they all drink. A day can be judged entirely on whether it's like high school in a good way, or a bad way. The sad truth is every day is like high school. Except now the teacher's pets spend their days exerting an enormous influence on workplace culture rather than being stuffed in lockers. And I do what I've always done. I eye the cute guys and get A minuses and go along half-heartedly with all the school spirit events so the teacher's pets don't stuff me in a locker.

I had a dream once that I had a blog and I only wrote in it once a week, but on that day I'd write 5-6 entries. I can see that happening with this blog. I will have a bunch of ideas all at once. I am perfecting the idea that if it really doesn't matter how I do it, I do it any way I want. It is a skill to feel my will and act upon it. I'm not talking about eating a half gallon of ice cream. I'm talking about having a blog and doing it however I want to do it. I was once a person who didn't know what she wanted or how she felt. I was entirely caught up in what other people wanted me to do, to the point where I couldn't tell if it was my will or theirs. It has been a joy to learn to know what my will is, and use it to bring myself happiness rather than daily trips to the ice cream aisle.